I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
