lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I have peed in a lot of sinks
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
