just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
