sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
