Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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