Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
