Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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