Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
