Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize