he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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