This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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