it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
