Don't you send me to vm
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
