Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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