Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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