Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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