I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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