So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
