i don't like sucking hair
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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