I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
