Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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