do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
