Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
