uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize
