idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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