Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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