so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
