Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I love you.
Bad choice
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