do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
