well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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