i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
