Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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