he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
