You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
