Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
