Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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