All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
