I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We left the knife in your bed.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
