Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
