It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
