my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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