He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
