She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
only if we run a train.
done.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
don't judge my taste in strippers
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize