Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
