Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We had to coat check the pizza.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
