we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
