Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
