Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
