sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
People in love make me want to vomit
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
worst night to have a conscience
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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