I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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