so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
