did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
