He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize