Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
