Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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