nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize