the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize