walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
