So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
