just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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