your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
