man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Everclear isn't food dammit
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
