Im at strip club and am horny
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
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