last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
