hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Randomize
