Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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