if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
