he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize