This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
