I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
