Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize
