he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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