i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize