dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize